Loving What You Hate
by twisted-lullaby14
Summary: Nixa Draeluna lives on a secluded island. She doesn't know how she got there and she doesn't remember anything before the age of 12. All she knows is her love and obsession for the moon that is stealing her sanity...and her soul.
1. Loving What You Hate

The silence was deafening. It was torturous. Yes, the cool night air felt wonderful on my pale, velvet skin. But, the continuous quiet was haunting and made me feel like I was in another dimension. Maybe I was. Maybe I was lost in another world, all alone. The ocean around me proved not helpful to fill the silence. It was tranquil and still and made no sound. I would often find myself saying a single word to make sure that I could still hear. The rocks poked at my feet but I didn't care. The sight was too beautiful to abandon. A large moon, magnificent and ghostly in every way, illuminated my face and reflected off the black water.

Was this all I had ever known? The calm ocean, shining moon, and ear shattering silence? It must be because I felt like that's all I could remember. I couldn't remember a warm home and a loving family…just dark, soft, pain. I was drawn oddly to the moon. It taunted me, looking down with its glowing face, killing me softly. It was so close! I could almost touch it but at the same time it seemed light years away! Killing me softly.

I had always felt drawn to the moon. I can't remember a time when I wasn't. It seemed to beckon my name, piercing through the night and the silence to reach me. It was a pure insanity, loving the majestic moon with so much intensity. When I closed my eyes, there it was, smiling back at me with a mocking grin. Deathly yet full of life…my life. It is all I know. All I love. All that keeps me alive.

My name is Nixa Draeluna and I live on the ocean shore, away from the public, in a land of which I know not its name. Not a single person besides me lives on the shore where I do. I'd been there for as long as I can remember but had never seen another human since the age of 12. It was just me and the moon…all alone…to faint slowly into insanity together.

Not only was the shore that I lived on a shore, but it was an island. I know not how I came upon it. I do not remember that now. All I remember is being her as a child, coping with the lifestyle, and watching the moon all night. I slept in the day, not wanting to miss a single minute of my precious moon. An obsession indeed, at the highest rate. I long to see the dreadful moon in my sleep and in my wake. I think of the moon and only the moon, often pondering that its name does it no justice for what I feel for it.

Cool breeze… so refreshing. The night is old and about to fade into the wretched daylight. I sigh and bid my love farewell…but not farewell for I dream of it whilst I sleep. Gliding to my small cabin that I built a few years back, I lay on the mattress made of pine branches and slip intoa deepsleep as the moon sank into the ocean.


	2. A Visitor

The horrid day flies by, heating the earth unmercifully. I do not notice the bright, scorching, and unforgiving sun, for my cabin owns no windows and all cracks are sealed. It is near pitch in my quiet home. Only the sound of sloshing water, disturbed by the warm ocean wind, meets my ears. Day melts into evening and evening melts into twilight and almost like clockwork, just as my love wakes to the world, so do I. I rise from my bed and go to my favorite rock where I stand in awe of the moon's magnificent beauty.

The wind is stronger today and my ears do not ring with the silence of the usual. I greet the cold wind with open arms, absorbing the power that my precious gives off with its radiance. I inhale its glory, all the while slipping…slipping steadily into darkness…insanity.

My arms drop as I hear something crunching behind me, like the snap of a twig.

I twist quickly to see a man, clad in a red velvet jacket that swept around his ankles. His jet hair billowed in the wind gracefully and two red eyes burned beneath the shadow of a red hat. Tall, he was indeed. He seemed to radiate with the same power and darkness as my beloved moon and I stood in awe. I had seen a man before but not to my memory. I had seen my own reflection in the water but it was blurry and misshapen. He was a perfect picture of power and grace. He did not stir and neither did I. I knew what he was here for but I couldn't speak the words.

"Nixa Draeluna." He spoke my name with a smooth tongue that made my bones quiver. "You have resided on this island for too long. Can you not smell your own insanity? Can you not see it creep on your right shoulder?" He approached her, eyes locked in an intense and fiery gaze.

"I am not insane. I am simply in love."

"Not love, but loathing. You come out here every night to revel in the omnipotent and mind controlling moon, yet you despise it with a deep loathing that boils within you. That, Nixa, is insanity."

"I have control over my own mind, thank you! Who are you to talk of insanity? I see the life in you has died. It has withered yet you walk on this earth! Yet you breathe!" Nixa grinned a maniacal, insane grin. She thought she had proven her point correctly and guarded her sanity with vigor.

"I _do_ walk this earth, Nixa Draeluna, yet I do not breathe. My pulse is non-existent yet I'm not dead. I do not live."

"Undead…" Nixa mumbled, not knowing where that knowledge had come from.

"Yes. Undead, indeed yet I'm not the only one who suffers this great pain. The pain of living yet not living."

"I am alive! Do not try to label me an insane, undead lunatic! I am no fool, sir. Where have you come from to disturb my quiet life? I am fine alone here."

"Tsk, tsk! But you are _not_ fine alone! You fail to see your own insanity, as is the case with most that are undertaken by the moon's spell. It's unloving, mocking, capturing face. It owns your very soul! Your very sanity! Your very breath and you can not see it, taste it, or smell it? Do you not _feel_ it in your bones?"

"Not at all! Be gone, doer of evil! My life lays here, on the shore with my love! A stranger from the grave will never take that away from me!"

"It is an illusion, foolish girl! You have only envisioned this to be God because of a mental loneliness that hit you before you knew it yourself! The moon has a spell, Nixa! It will draw one in if they are willing and you have accepted the demon with an open soul and now your soul is vacant. A shell, like mine. Leave this hell before it gets any worse than it already is!"

"Never! No one, breathing or not, can take me from my home!"

"Than I must do what I tried to avoid…" He advanced on her, making her step back slightly and turn to her moon for help. The moon aided her not, only shrugging and leaving her with the man coming closer. She silently cursed the only love in her black heart as the strange man continued towards her.

Accidentally, Nixa caught eye contact with the man. He held her there and whispered soft, encouraging, and kind things to her mind. She was soon asleep and at peace from dreams of her lunar love. Two strong arms caught her when she fell into peaceful dreaming state.


	3. Talk With Integra

Chapter Three: Talk with Integra

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Blah. Onto thy story, reader!

When I woke up I was freezing. It was as if the very blood in my veins were like frigid scarlet ice. Shaking from an unknown dream, I glanced around. Darkness. Where am I? I could barely make out the outline of what I was laying on but that was all I could see. It was a wooden bed type thing. It looked distantly familiar but I couldn't place it. This thick atmosphere was like another world… another dimension. I rose from the wooden bed that had a sort of lid on in and waved my arms in front of me, looking for the door.

When I found it and opened it, I gaped at what I saw. It was a large stone hallway. Living on that shore for so long, I didn't remember what anything else looked like! I was wearing a long white gown as I sauntered in a daze down the hallway. I heard someone from behind me and jolted around to meet the two fiery eyes. It was as if my obsession to the moon has shifted…shifted to those murderous but glorious eyes.

"Finally you wake up." He grunted as if irritated but he was smiling. I couldn't take my eyes of his two scarlet orbs. They seemed to hide a hidden pain. As if he had read my thoughts, he broke eye contact and walked passed me. I ran to catch up with his long strides. My awe was fading into my strong spirit once again.

"Where have you taken me? I want to go back _home!_" I made him stop walking by stepping in front of him.

"You _are_ home now, Luna. You're in the Hellsing Organization now. You might not know it, young one, but you were slowly killing yourself." I _did_ know that I was softly dying from a broken heart. I couldn't be loved back by the moon and it was slowly killing me.

"What difference will it make? There is a moon here as well!"

"Yes, there is a moon here…but it is a different moon. It is a moon surrounded by people and buildings. Civilization! _You_ were the one killing yourself, not the moon. It was simply your choice of weapon. You made the moon your friend, your love…" I interrupted him with a longing to speak these words.

"My life." He nodded solemnly.

"Yes, Nixa Draeluna. It made you forget your family and your history. That can not be brought back, I'm sorry to say. We do not know how you got there but when I was out on a mission, I sensed your insanity. You would've died that night I came if I had not drove the moon from your mind. Your soul will never be the same but we can nurse your mind back to life." He began to walk around me and I followed. I _did_ feel like my mind was bending, soon to break.

"How will you do that? How will you nurse my mind back to life?"

"We will show you life in the Hellsing manor. We will teach you how to do all the things a normal 18 year old girl likes to do. At least that will give Police Girl something to occupy herself with." He grumbled "Police Girl".

"Who's that?"

"You'll see soon enough. For now, let's introduce you to Sir Integral, the owner of Hellsing Organization. She will see to it that you are taken care of." The man led me to two enormous doors. He knocked on them and immediately the doors flew open. A person was standing there…I didn't know if it was a male or a female. Long silver hair, a gray suit on, and a woman's figure. I decided to wait and see. In the background I heard the man chuckle.

"Welcome to Hellsing. I hope Alucard here has treated you well." She was a woman. I could tell by her voice. She suddenly became very beautiful and elegant.

"I did just as you told me, Master. Now can I go? Police Girl is up to something. I can feel it." He smirked mischievously.

"How many times have I told you to call her by her name, Alucard? Seras is her name and you will call her that." Integral glared at Alucard but he only shrugged.

"Whatever. I'm leaving, now, Master." He began to walk away before grinning a toothy grin at me. It almost looked as if two of his teeth were about three times longer than the others. I dismissed the thought and turned back to Integral.

"Here is your uniform. All troops are required to have one. Your training starts tomorrow night." She handed me a box. I opened it to see a blue police outfit with Hellsing sown onto it.

"I-I don't want to be a t-troop."  
"Don't worry about it. I won't put you on any trying missions. I probably won't put you on any at all but training will be good for your…recovery. I'm very sorry that we had to bring you here by force but even though Alucard doesn't look it, he _does_ have a heart, even though it's not beating."

"What do you mean? He told me something of the undead on my shore but I didn't understand."

"Alucard is what you call a vampire." The word stung my brain. I don't know why.

"A-a vampire? What's that?"

"A night creature. He feeds on blood and sleeps in the daytime."

"I-I sleep in the day time…"

"Yes, but that was because you were up all night, watching you beloved moon."

"I guess you're right. What else about vampires?"

"They don't breathe and their heart doesn't beat. His heart has hardened and he thinks little of others. He has been a vampire all his life, born one. It takes many, many years to become that hard. He and one other are the only vampires in the Hellsing manor. The other it Seras Victoria. She was in the police service before she became a vampire. On a mission, she was brutally injured and was going to die. She asked Alucard to change her to a vampire as well by biting into her neck. Now Seras is an officer for Hellsing."

"What do you fight against in Hellsing?"

"Ghouls and freaks. Bad vampires and whatever else comes against us."

"Wow." Information overload. My life had just changed completely. I was learning and seeing new things like never before. Now my precious moon was in the back of my mind.

"Walter will show you to Seras' room." An older man suddenly appeared from somewhere. I didn't notice where. He led me out of Sir Integral's office and to a dungeon type room. He wrapped lightly on the door. A few second later, a ruffled looking blonde opened the door. Her eyes were flaming with anger and frustration but there was no one else in the room. She calmed down when she saw us. Walter grinned.

"Miss Victoria. This is Nixa Draeluna. I suppose Alucard has been here recently, seeing as you're flustered. Did he speak of Nixa?"

"Yes he did." She grunted. "But he did not say much. Only that she was from an island and I would need to teach her a few things." Walter nodded.

"I leave you, then." He walked away and Seras invited me into her room where we sat at a table. She was very pretty and looked about my age. Her eyes were a churning crimson color and she was wearing the same uniform that was given to me. I inhaled a deep breath and prepared to be "taught" how to be a teenage girl in Hellsing.

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This one was sorta long, I know. If I'm getting anything wrong about the story, please tell me. I can use all the help I can get. I know that you need to know your stuff in order to make a good fanfic and I just started getting into Hellsing. Yeah, I'm a beginner. So, any tips would be great. Hope you like the rest of the story! I havea lot in store!


	4. Meeting Seras Victoria

Catcher upper: Nixa Draeluna was led to Seras room, where she would learn how a teenage girl lives in the Hellsing Organization. We ended last whenWalter left them and now Seras is introducing herself.

Disclaimer: Don't own, just write crappy fanfics bout it for fun.

Enjoy!

"Well, Nixa, welcome to Hellsing."

"Thanks…Alucard told me that you would teach me what a "normal" teenage girl does because I've been away on that island, away from civilization."

"What? No people there? How did you survive?" So, I told her the whole story and into the night she told me her story.

"Oh, and another thing," She began, "Call Alucard, Master. He might get a little flustered if you call him by his real name. That's just how it goes, I guess. Has he thought of a stupid nickname for you, yet?" I laughed, remembering him calling Seras Police Girl.

"Yeah. He calls me Luna. I guess it sorta makes sense." We continued talking and I learned a lot. Before sun rise, Alu…Master appeared in Seras' room, taking me by surprise.

"Time for sleep. Luna, follow me to your room." I nodded gravely and waved goodbye to Seras. She grinned and moved to get in her coffin.

Alucard flipped on the light switch in my room, revealing a bed. This wasn't the same room that I had been in. The other one had a coffin like Seras'… maybe _that_ room had been Alucard's? Who knows? My thoughts were interrupted when he began to talk.

"I know that you are not a vampire, Luna, but why interrupt your sleeping habits now? You will train tomorrow night but sleep today. Good day, Luna." He abruptly disappeared. I sighed and sank into the comfortable bed, satisfied at how the day had gone.

------The next night----

I had a peaceful sleep and woke to a stir in my room. I rubbed my eyes and looked up to see Master grinning and waiting for me to wake up. I was a little surprised but assumed that it was normal. I pushed the blanket off of my body and yawned, looking up at Master, waiting for him to speak.

"Get dressed. Walter will bring you breakfast and then take you to the training room. Seras will be helping you today. I have a few things that I need to tend to alone." He vanished in a cloud of black blur and I rose from the bed. This was all like a dream! The silence was gone, my mind was already feeling as if it was mending and I had made a new friend: Seras. My past still lay unsolved and it made uneasiness settle in my soul. I didn't know who Nixa Draeluna was!

I ate a breakfast of toast and orange juice. When I finished, I changed into my uniform that was a little revealing but I blew it off, and Walter lead me through the winding hallways and to a small weight room with a lot of dumbbells and a few punching bags. Seras was there putting on some gloves that showed her fingers.

"Let the training begin." She said, smiling.

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Short one. A lot shorter than my last. Well, I couldn't find a stopping place on my last chapter and couldn't go on with this one without bleeding into the next chapter (which I'm about to go write). see ya.


	5. Training

Catcher Upper: Nixa woke up, ate breakfast, and went to meet Seras who was waiting in the weight room. "Let the training begin!"

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

ENJOY!

"Right punch! Left jab! That's it, just a few more!" Seras was a tough trainer. I wasn't exactly in shape but I loved the feel of sweat trickling down my forehead. I'd never felt it before. My arms were stinging but I didn't care. It was exhilarating.

"Good, good. You can rest now. You're a natural, Nixa." She grinned at me while I took a swig out of the water bottle and than smiled.

"Thanks. This is great."

"That's not exactly what I said when I first came here." A silence…oh how I hate silences. It's like a silence says more than needs to be said.

"What's it like?"  
"Huh?"

"What's it like to be…a vampire." Seras frowned and I thought that I had said something wrong. She shrugged.

"It doesn't suck too badly. I just won't drink blood."

"Why?"

"I don't know, it seems inhuman." Seras took to pulverizing the punching bag. I didn't know that it wasn't to her full potential, but she was weakening from not drinking blood.

"But, you're _not_ a human anymore. Why don't you…" She interrupted.

"You sound like Master." She slammed her fist into the punching bag.

"Yeah, well, your Master is always right." It was Alucard's voice. I whipped around to see him standing by the door to the weight room. Seras acted as if she already knew he was standing there. I didn't know it then, either, but she had sensed his presence for a while.

"We're almost done with the punching bag and then we're moving to hand on hand combat training. Nixa's a natural puncher."

"I noticed." Alucard smirked and approached me. I was still sitting on the bench, griping the water bottle. "Finish up in here and then I want to talk with you both." Seras shrugged and I nodded. He grinned, satisfied, and left in a cloud of smoke.

"What do you think he wants to talk with us about?" I got up and began to pound the punching bag unmercifully.

"There's no telling with that guy." We both grew silent and concentrated on our training. Seras was in the corner, jumping rope while I continued to beat up the bag. I suddenly heard resounding laughter inside my thoughts. It felt like an invasion but a lullaby…a twisted lullaby.

_There's just no telling with me, Luna. You'll have to wait and see. I can see great potential in you. Keep it up._ It was the weirdest feeling! I stopped punching the bag and gaped at the bag. Seras noticed.

"What is it? Oh, that. Yeah, he does that all the time. You get used to it. I can still feel his presence. Hello, Master." Seras shrugged and then continued jumping rope. I did the same and continued training.

A few hours later, after learning how to block a hit and the good places to punch, we went to meet Alucard. Seras said that he would always show up in her room so that's where they went. Surely enough, there he was, sitting at Seras' table with his boots propped up on it. Seras groaned.

"How many times do I have to ask you not to put your feet on my table?"

"A few more, Police Girl. Have a seat, both of you." We sat down and waited intently for him to start talking. He smiled and began.

"You two are a good pair for a mission." Seras grinned and Alucard continued. "I was thinking that you two could partner together for our next mission. Integral has left this matter to me and I'm asking you. Luna, do you think you're prepared for a mission in a few weeks maybe?" I nodded vigorously, liking the idea greatly. Seras laughed.

"I'm in. Sounds fun. Nixa's going to be tough competition for any ghoul that gets in her way!" Alucard laughed quiet and deep.

"Yes, well, be training Police Girl. You need to stay a step ahead of her because I'm leaving her to you. I've got better things to do." That almost sounded vicious but I didn't care. I was being put on a mission.

"Are we done training for today, Master?" Seras cracked her knuckles unconsciously.

"Yes, I suppose. Just don't stay up too late tonight. You need to get sleep for tomorrow. You'll be training harder come tomorrow night." We both shook our heads and sighed when he left.

"This is going to be fun, Nixa. I've been on a mission before but only with a whole bunch of disrespectful men!" We both giggled. As the night proceeded, we talked and joked around. About an hour before the sun would come up, I left for my room, giggling at a few things that Seras had said before. When I reached my door, I heard his voice behind me.

"I was very impressed with you tonight. You're coming along great already, Luna. I'm looking forward to working with you. I'm sure that Seras has told you all you need to know. Good night, Luna." He didn't give me time to speak. He vanished. I shrugged and trudged into my room. Sighing, I lowered myself onto my bed and drifted to sleep.

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Whoo! I love writing this story. I think it's pretty good but I don't know what you guys think. Don't leave me hangin', give me a few tips. I LOVE to hear about my story!


	6. Learning New Things

Weeks passed by and I saw little of Master. He was always busy and whenever I would walk into a room, he would leave in a hurry. I didn't know what I'd done wrong because I remembered that just a few weeks ago he'd been congratulating me. I'd been doing better in training with Seras. We'd moved on to guns and I _mastered_ that with ease. I love my new hobby but just wish that Master would pay more attention to me. As I have stated before, when I saw those eyes my obsession shifted. I actually miss his taunting laugh and surprise visits.

Seras saw plenty of him but when I'd come along he'd leave so I decided to ask Seras about it. When we were running on the treadmills, I thought the time was right.

"Why is Master ignoring me?" Seras seemed a little taken back.

"I've been noticing that a little too. I don't know why. I wouldn't say much more though, because the walls have ears." Seras gave me the look that indicated that Master was in the walls or outside them.

"Oh…" I sighed and focused back on running.

"He's gone." She stated when his presence had left. "He gets weird sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it. You're lucky that he's not teasing you like he's teasing me."

"Yeah, I guess so." I puffed out my air in short gasps as I felt my strength weakening. Seras could definitely run longer than me but I was determined to train to be her equal, even if she _was_ a vampire.

A few new things had happened over the weeks. First of all, Seras introduced me to music. When I first heard it I cried. I will always remember the first song that I ever heard: Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. She looked shocked that I'd never heard music before but I hadn't. It's part of my new obsession. I always have music playing, thanks to Integra. She bought me a CD player and a few CDs. It's calming…I don't know how I lived with the pressure before.

Another thing that happened was I saw my first movie. It was cool but I love music more. The first movie that I saw was Equilibrium. I felt like the man on the movie when he heard the music on the scratchy record. It was just too beautiful. I've watched a few movies since but I'd rather be listening to the Goo Goo Dolls or Nirvana. Everything in my life has gotten so much better.

The last thing that I discovered was books. You know what's weird? I already know how to read! I must've learned a LONG time ago and it must've stuck with me all this time. I love to read almost as much as I love music. Most of the fairy tales aren't as adventurous as the stories of my life but some of them are about far fetched worlds with weird people. I love the Lord of the Rings series. This new world is awesome.

Seras has been a wonderful friend. I love hanging out with her. One night I went to her room and she was just about to leave. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"What? What is it Seras?" I laughed at the hysterical look on her face.

"We're going on that mission…tomorrow! I am so glad that you're going, Nixa! You've trained so well. I can't wait to fight together!" Seras squealed and gripped me around the shoulders in a vise like grip. I gasped for air and she pulled away.

"That's awesome! How did you find out?"  
"Well, Master just came by like five minutes ago. He seemed to leave in a hurry, though. I wander why?" I knew why. He knew that I was coming so he left. I was starting to get offended by his avoiding me.

"Don't worry about Master, Nixa." She must've seen the thoughtful expression on my face.

"I'm not." I lied. It had been on my mind a lot lately. "I'm glad that we're going on this mission together." I smiled weakly and she bit her lip, drawing blood from a tiny wound that was inflicted by her fangs.

"Still not used to these things all the way…" Silence. Then, it seemed as though a light clicked in Seras' brain. "Oh! I got you a new CD…well, actually Integra did but I told her what to get." She handed me a CD case and I grinned. She knew how to cheer me up.

"Thanks. Linkin Park? What kind of music is that?"

"It's a little harder than what you've been listening to but it has a lot of good beats and meaningful lyrics. I hope you'll like it." Seras almost bit down on her lip again but stopped and smiled. "Still getting used to it." We both giggled for a while but then I stole away to my room to try out this new CD and think through my emotions right now. The sun was about to rise anyway.

I slipped the CD in and immediately fell in love. I didn't have much time to think through my emotions (not a good thing because they build up) because I fell asleep to "Numb".

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Hope ya like tha story. I'm loving writing it if you don't like it. YOU CAN NEVER STOP ME FROM WRITING, NEVER!


	7. When It All Comes Unglued

Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing

Catcher Upper: she went to sleep. now READ!

Odd, very odd dreams. Cliffs, scarlet moons, the water blood red, crashing waves below me, storm clouds parade the sky. Simple visions, not actions, flooded my mind. Hysterical laughing that was somehow cruel and evil. Two treacherous red eyes, not beautiful great like Masters, but with a blatant evil in them. I woke up shaking violently. Walter, Seras, and even Integra were watching over me with concerned looks on their faces.

"Alucard's not here, Nixa. I can't find him." Integra brushed my hair out of my eyes and smiled.

"Huh?" I groaned, kicking the hot blanket off my legs.

"You were calling Alucard for help. I can't find him but Walter and Seras sent for me. Relax, you just have a fever. You were probably having delirious dreams. Don't worry about it, Nixa. We won't tell Alucard. I know how he gets when he thinks that he's needed." I just groaned and accepted a glass of water from Walter. Integra left and so did Walter. Seras sat on the side of my bed and looked down on me with sorrowful eyes.

"Something's wrong, Nixa. I'm beginning to sense it." I groaned in agreement. It felt like everything that had been fixed before was coming undone. Little did I know then, but Alucard knew everything that was going on with me. That's why he was staying away. He knew my sanity was coming unglued again and so did I. What I didn't know was that death was quickly approaching.

"I'm just sick," I lied. "I'll be fine." I lied again. She smiled and stood up.

"I guess you're right. If I see Master I'll tell him. You get some rest, Nixa." I nodded and pulled the blanket back over me, suddenly feeling extremely cold. I was soon drifting off again into another delirious dream…but it was interrupted.

"You're fading." I woke suddenly, hearing a voice above me. Alucard sat down on the corner of my bed. The room was pitch and I could only make out his darker outline. My mind felt heavy and fragile at the same time. The world around me was spinning and I was hearing a resounding laughter inside my head.

"I know…" I grumbled, shaking from the intolerable cold.

"You're room is burning up, Nixa. You're shivering. You know that you're not just sick and so do I."

"What's going on than? My mind feels so…"

"Twisted? Corrupted? I know, I feel it all the time. You're on the brink of death, Nixa Draeluna. I was trying to be as uninvolved as possible but I just can't do that. There is only one way out of this fix."

"What? I'm willing to do anything."

"Anything?"

"Yea." My world turned upside down and began to blur. A mocking black face flashed in my vision. I gasped and began to shake even harder from the cold. Alucard sighed.

"I could turn you, Nixa." I gasped yet again. Become a vampire?

"That's the only way o-out of d-death?" My teeth were chattering. Dying was so cold…so incredibly cold.

"I'm afraid so. I'm willing to do it, Luna. We've come this far. You're a great warrior and would be an even better one with vampiric abilities."

"Uh-huh." I held tight to my head as I felt a single thread come undone in my mind. The pain was unbearable. You wouldn't think that a mental thing would hurt physically but then again, mental state is connected with physical.

"We must hurry. You will die very soon. Tonight. In a few hours."

"Yes. Go on. Just…stop…this…PAIN!" I groaned and buried my head into the pillow to scream. Closing my eyes incredibly tight, I screamed until it felt like my veins were collapsing and they probably were.

"Okay, Nixa. I've warned you." He grabbed my by the shoulders and exposed my neck. I didn't even notice when he bit into me because my mind was falling apart and I was screaming in pain over that. Alucard's eyes almost looked…sympathetic? Maybe I was simply hallucinating. Maybe I wasn't. He _was_ helping me, after all. Before I knew it everything went black…if my mind could be any darker. I still heard Alucard talking though…

"Nixa, it will take many years to mend your mind as a vampire but it will never be completely glued back together. I _will_ take care of you, Nixa. Just…" He faded into the darkness as well.

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Ha. I know I used a little bit of a Slipknot lyric in there. i do not own slipknot (my disclaimer.). Erm...love ya...even tho I don't know ya!


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